Now and Then
Filed under: Cavewife's Perspective
The following is a guest post written by my wife, The Cavewife. She regularly writes here about what’s on her heart as a frugal stay-at-home mom.
I was updating our bank accounts yesterday and began pondering on how life was so easy before having a baby. I’m not saying I regret leaving work and being home with my cute little girl.
Before, I would wake up at 5:15 every morning to get ready and would be out of the house by 6:00am for work. I would then work eight long hours (which some days seemed like an eternity) and fight the dreadful commute home. Life was good and I was contributing a nice savings for my husband and I. At the time, all of the bills were pretty much being paid off of my husband’s income, except for my student loans and car loan. I was putting some money to savings and then paying those loans when they came due with my income.
Now, I wake up between 7am and 8am. I get myself cleaned up for the day and then I start caring for my daughter. The difference is I’m not getting paid for it, but at the same time I’m saving money on meals and gas.
In the early infant months, it was easy to feed my daughter. All I would have to do is make formula and she would be good to go. I was lucky that I was able to breastfeed for the first four months, which saved us some money for diapers. The next seven months we went through endless cans of Enfamil formula and even store brand formula. (Thank goodness for the great Enfamil checks that they kept sending me in the mail!)
When she started solid foods, we went through jars and jars of baby food. In these recent months, we’re spending our hard earned dollars on boxes, boxes, and boxes of diapers and many, many gallons of milk, which seems to fluctuate in price from week to week.
We never realized the cost to raise a child, but no one really knows that until they have one. There is no one manual to raising a child, you just experience it day by day.
My husband helped me realize that we have been able to thrive these many months. We’ve made some sacrifices and run over some obstacles, but we made it. It definitely has been hard!
During my pregnancy, we tested the idea of living on one income. We paid all the bills as well as other expenses on my husband’s income. My income was made “invisible” by squirreling it away in a separate account and went untouched. The results were good. I would recommend to anyone considering stay-at-home life to consider trying this out for a couple of months. It really gives you a clear perspective on your spending and how much (or little) money you truly need to survive.
I still enjoy my life now but some days it is hard living the life of frugality. It is easy to manage sometimes, but you have to force yourself to find ways to really live it. I spend countless hours checking store ads and cutting every coupon I can get my hands on. Shopping at different stores also helps, too. I buy most of our groceries at Aldi’s and then buy the things I can’t get there at another local grocery store in town. It’s easy to notice the savings, since I carry a little notebook with me showing different items I commonly buy, when and where they were purchased, and the unit price. The notebook system has helped us figure out where we can get the best deals.
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions on frugality, please feel free to share them with me and my husband. I’m currently reading a few books now, just to get some different perspectives. If I find any good ones, I’ll be sure to write about it.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
I breast fed 4 kids till they were over 12 months, and spent very little on fomula. I pumped when I went to work on the weekends when my husband was home with the kids.
I never bought baby food in jars after kids # 1. I just modified our food for the babies. Commercial baby food is one way to spend alot of money.
April 11th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Hi Anne,
I wish I would have been able to breastfeed longer, but unfortunately I was put on medication that caused some bad reactions with my little one, so I had to stop. I had continued to pump, but noticed that my milk supply had decreased quite a bit.
For our next child, I may consider making baby food and hopefully trying to breastfeed longer. The costs of baby food, even when they are on sale, add up over time.
Thanks for stopping by and checking out my post!
April 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Making your own baby food is cheap and super-easy. You can buy a baby food grinder for ~$12, and you just mush up whatever you happen to be making for yourselves as much as possible. You can also make several weeks’ worth at a time and freeze it. With the exception of things like honey and peanuts, babies can eat most things adults can eat, so long as it’s prepared properly.
Look for cloth diapers on your local craigslist or freecycle group, or go for the prefolds with velcro covers. Since you’re at home and can do a wash every day, you won’t need that many. For washing, you can make your own laundry detergent, which costs ~ 5 cents per load. The Simple Dollar (www.thesimpledollar.com) did a couple of great articles about it. If you can get your hands on some old towels or flannel sheets, you can make your own baby wipes, which you can just throw in with the diapers.
Our grocery bill is quite small, and I almost never use coupons because name brands with coupons are still more expensive than generics. The price book is a great idea, though. If you have the space, consider buying in bulk and getting a chest freezer. That’s best bought new or close-to-new, since old models are energy hogs, but ours was $298 from Lowe’s and holds plenty for our small family. The bulk food tends to make us cook from scratch, and we haven’t bought bread or cereal (we make our own granola) in months.
If you have any available space outside with some sunlight, start a small vegetable garden. You can make a no-dig garden, which is really easy to start. Leaf lettuce is a great thing to start with, since it’s expensive in stores but grows and grows and grows in the garden. If you like peppers of any kind, you should try to grown them. A 6-pack of plants that costs less than $2 can give you more produce than you know what to do with. When space is limited, it’s best to grow things that are expensive at the stores; you can get carrots (”grown-up” carrots) cheaply, so why grow them? Though if you have the space…
I caught the frugal bug after reading The Complete Tightwad Gazette, which you should be able to get at the library. If your local library doesn’t have it, try to get it through your state’s library sharing program. I bought my own copy after I borrowed it from the library because it’s so useful. I think it’s great that you’re staying home and made sure you could live on one income first.
April 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Hi Lauren,
I am part of a MOPS group at my church and there are a couple of moms there that make their own baby foods. I will consider that for our next child. I think I was so crazed at the time to even think about making baby food with our little girl.
My husband tried making laundry detergent once and it didn’t really come up as he expected. It ended up not cleaning clothes as well. We just recently purchased a front load washer, so now we are using high efficiency detergent.
We’ve been trying to buy in bulk for some items, but we’ve been also watching the price per unit for things. This is probably why I buy most of our groceries at Aldi’s, which is mostly generic items. We have had our deep freezer for quite awhile and have stocked in with various items. During the winter months, I started freezing meals. I”m still trying to find recipes or things that I can easily freeze for meals.
Last year, I started growing some herbs, but I may consider growing some vegetables. I think I may try growing them in some pots and putting them on my deck(which is where most of the sunlight is).
I’m currently reading Miserly Moms. It has some interesting insight and things I haven’t tried yet. I will definitely check your recommendation though.
Thanks for sharing your insight. I will definitely try your recommendations.